The Onion Man

As many of us are unfortunately aware, Australian politics is a bit of a punch line. One year, we had three Prime Ministers, one of which asked for a public apology from the Genius, Robin Williams after he called Australian's, and I quote, "English red necks". Kev. Buddy. We are. 

One of our most recent National 'Leaders' was Tony Abbott or, as I like to refer to him, Onion Man. 

He hasn't done anything recently as he's been kicked out (apparently a tradition among Australia's pollys). However, MrrrAbbott had some interesting ideas about what represented the average Aussie. He thought we were all middle aged, Catholic white men for example, not requiring health care or education. He thought budgie smugglers were appropriate beach wear, the people in need were a bigger problem than de-funding health care and global warming, and that onions were the shit. The average Australian view, obviously.

I wrote this little scene while this professional Funny Man was in power but alas, as his arse has been removed from the public's chopping block and now he must be removed from mine. 

Farewell, my dearest, local Trump, you have not been missed. 

***

A middle aged politician was once lying beside his wife in bed, a bowl of onions beautifully piled beside the stubbie of VB.

“What we going to do, love?”

“About what, dear?” She asked, still reading the news.

“The weather in Queensland. It’s bloomin’ hot up there.”

“Well darling,” she said, “why is it hot?”

 He thought about this for a moment.

“Hmm, those bloody refugee’s.”

“Right so what should we do about them?”

“Hmm,” he began again, “stop the boats?”

“Okay dear, whatever you say.”