Batman tries a different line of work

You know those script classes where you write a scene in which Batman is forced to retire from his vigilante work and work in a nightclub? You know those classes? 

DC owns the rights to Batman, not me. I have done zero research in this. I wrote this because it made me laugh, and I'm posting it for the same reason.

EXT. NIGHT CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

BATMAN, cape and all, is furiously pacing by the dustbins out the back of the club.

                                 BATMAN
                      I’m Batman. I’m the Batman.
                      I’m the Bat Man. I fight the scourge
                      of Gotham, protect the innocent, the
                      people who cannot protect themselves. 

                      I protect the-

The door BANGS open and a small, red faced man in a tattered three piece suit storms up to Batman, getting in his face. This is the Cockney Manager.

                                 MANAGER
                      What the bloody ‘ell d’you fink you’re 

                      doin’?

                                 BATMAN
                      I’m Batman!

                                 MANAGER
                      Not tonight you ain’t. Tonight you’re 

                      ‘elpin’ tape Magenta’s penis back so
                      she don’t fall out.

                                 BATMAN
                      Liars are the mud of Gotham.

                                 MANAGER
                      I told you you’d be ‘elpin’ our
                      performers.

                                 BATMAN
                      With fists! And skill! Not masking
                      tape!

                                 MANAGER
                      Don’ fink of usin’ your fists wif my
                      girls or I’ll ‘ave the boys take your
                      suit to the docks.

BEAT. Batman stares, confused, trying to figure out the threat.

                                 MANAGER (CONT’D)
                      Wiv you innit!

                                 BATMAN
                      I’ll do their jobs! Rid the club of
                      liars and thieves. I’ll find where the
                      drugs are coming from, I’ll protect

                      and save.

                                 MANAGER
                      You knob ‘ead. I don’t even fink you
                      can fight. You’re all just words.

Batman launches at the Manager who gently steps aside.

                                 MANAGER
                      Now get inside and star' tapin’.

The Manager holds out a roll of medical tape to Batman who takes it, shoulders slumped, defeated. Batman shuffles past the Manager and into the club.

                                 MANAGER (CONT’D)
                      Try anyfing again and I’ll ‘ave you
                      for assault! 

The Manager lights a cigarette and adjusts his trousers before marching back into the club. 

END